Happiness is a skill and A Prescription for that 一份幸福处方单

Happiness is a skill, and it’s a skill we can all get better at if we know what to work on. 幸福是一种技能，只要我们找对方向，每个人都能把它练得更好。

Tired of searching for happiness? Maybe it’s not as complicated as we all think, says Dr Rangan Chatterjee. I think the biggest mistake people make about happiness is they think that someday they’re just going to stumble across it. I think it’s an unhelpful way to think about happiness. 还在苦苦追寻幸福?在兰根·查特吉博士看来，幸福或许并不像我们想象中那么复杂。知名作家、播客主、BBC《早餐》常驻医生兰根·查特吉博士表示：“我认为人们对幸福最大的误解，就是以为有一天幸福会自己找上门来。这种想法对追求幸福毫无帮助。”

The three ingredients for happiness are alignment, contentment and control, Dr Chatterjee says. “Alignment is basically when your inner values and your external actions start to line up more. Contentment is about regularly doing things that give you that sense of contentment and calm and peace. And control is not about controlling things, it’s about doing things regularly that give you a sense of control over your life.” 查特吉博士指出，幸福的三大要素是：契合、满足与掌控。“‘契合’，本质上就是你的内在价值观和外在行为开始逐渐统一。‘满足’，是定期做那些能带给你充实感、平静与安宁的事。而‘掌控’，不是去控制外界，而是通过规律的小事，找回对自己生活的掌控感。”

This could mean five minutes of journaling each day, or 10 minutes of yoga. “Things that give you a sense of control in a world that’s fundamentally uncontrollable.” Include more joy. We often don’t think about joy and passion as part of health, says Dr Chatterjee, but we should. There’s really good evidence on passion and joy. We know that people who regularly do things that they love are more resilient to stress, it’s very good for your health. 这可以是每天五分钟写日记，也可以是十分钟瑜伽。“在这个充满不确定性的世界里，这些小事能让你重新找回掌控感。”多给生活加点快乐。查特吉博士说，我们常常不把快乐和激情看作健康的一部分，但我们本该如此。研究早已证明，激情与快乐对健康至关重要。经常做自己喜欢的事的人，抗压能力更强，身心状态也更好。

It could simply be dancing in your kitchen, getting into a hobby or putting on a video of your favourite comedian for 10 minutes. Dare to be disliked. The fear of being disliked, and therefore moulding yourself to who you think others want you to be, could really be impacting health. “For many of us, though, we had to work to receive love as children – I know that was the case for me, and I’m not blaming my parents. I thought I was only loved when I got top marks at school, and so that drives you to be a certain way. It works with the child. It just doesn’t serve you as an adult.” 这可以是在厨房跳舞、重拾一个爱好，或是花十分钟看一段你最喜欢的喜剧演员的视频。敢于被讨厌。害怕被讨厌，于是刻意活成别人期待的样子，这种状态正在悄悄影响你的健康。“但我们很多人小时候都要靠努力才能获得爱——我自己就是这样，我不是在怪父母。我以前以为，只有考高分才会被爱，这种想法会推着你变成某种样子，对孩子来说或许有用，但对成年人来说，只会内耗。”

“Now I find it quite easy now to go, if that person doesn’t agree with what I decided to do or not do, that’s okay. They’re entitled to not agree but I don’t need to change who I am in order to get their love and acceptance.” Plus, he adds: “If you can just get better at saying no, you automatically have more time for the things that nourish you.” “I think that one of the most important practices for any of us – whether you’re talking about health, happiness or relationships – is a daily practice of solitude. You have to have time with yourself each day.” Carve out alone time. “我认为，对我们所有人来说，最重要的习惯之一——无论你关注的是健康、幸福还是人际关系——就是每日独处练习。你每天都需要和自己待一会儿。” 留出独处的时间。

You’ll never know if you have a reliance on being liked unless you’re spending a bit of time with yourself each day. Ask yourself two questions every night: What went well today? What can I do differently tomorrow? This sounds so simple but I challenge anyone that if they do that for seven days in a row, and it will take them ten minutes each night to do it, they will start to change their relationship with life, says Dr Chatterjee. 只有每天静下心跟自己独处一会儿，你才能发现自己是不是总在意别人喜不喜欢自己；不然你永远看不透自己的这种执念。每晚问自己两个问题：“今天什么事做得好？明天我可以有什么不同的做法？” 听起来很简单，但我敢说，只要连续七天、每晚花十分钟问自己这两个问题，你和生活的关系就会开始改变。

Look into the root of your habits. Dr Chatterjee doesn’t need to tell us all about the negatives of sugar: “You already know that,” he says. “What you need is an understanding of why you keep going to sugar. You need to ask ‘Is it when I’m stressed? When I’ve had a row with my partner? When I’ve been on Zoom calls all day?'” When we’re too focused on the behaviour and not the energy behind the behaviour, we don’t think about the role that behaviour plays in our life. 深挖习惯的根源。查特吉博士不用再跟我们讲糖的坏处：“这些你早就知道了，”他说，“你真正需要搞清楚的是，你为什么总是想吃糖。你要问自己：‘是因为压力大？和伴侣吵架了？还是开了一整天的视频会议？’” 当我们只盯着一个人的外在行为，却忽略行为背后的内在动因时，就永远看不清这种行为在我们人生里到底扮演着怎样的角色。

Get uncomfortable. Modern life has become very comfortable. We can roll out of bed, open a laptop and work in our pyjamas, and we can order cooked food straight to our door. “You literally don’t have to do anything physical anymore in order to live—or many of us don’t—and it comes at real cost. Because we’re never regularly doing things that challenge us or we find physically tricky, we start to lose trust in ourselves,” he says. By including “micro doses” of discomfort into your day — which could just be turning the shower cold for 10 seconds at the end or vowing to always take the stairs — “You remind yourself that you’re a capable human who can do difficult things.” 主动走出舒适区。现代生活太舒适了：起床、穿着睡衣打开电脑就能工作，点外卖就能吃到热饭。“我们几乎再也不用为了生活做任何体力活动，大多数人是如此，这是有代价的。因为我们再也不做那些挑战自己、或是身体上有难度的事，我们会渐渐失去对自己的信任。” 在生活中加入“微剂量”的不适，比如洗澡最后十秒冲冷水、或是坚持走楼梯，“你就能提醒自己：我是一个有能力面对困难的人。