用更宏大的世界稀释痛苦When the World Gets Bigger the Pain Feels Smaller

When the World Gets Bigger, the Pain Feels Smaller

当世界变大，痛苦变小

For the past 25 years, I’ve been studying how people can manage their emotions. A key to managing one’s emotions effectively involves understanding how to harness this mysterious force called the voices inside our head.

过去25年，我一直在研究人们如何管理自己的情绪。有效管理情绪的一个关键，是驾驭内心的声音。

The majority of us have a voice inside our head. Here’s a fact: we spend between one half and one third of our waking hours not focused on the present. We often drift away, thinking about other things, and one thing we do when our minds wander is talk to ourselves.

大多数人都有一个内心的声音。这里有个事实：我们每天清醒的时间中，有一半到三分之一不是专注于当下。我们经常走神，想着其他事情，在这些时刻，我们会和自己对话。

Understanding the Inner Voice

理解内在声音

When scientists use the term inner voice, we are talking about our ability to silently use language to reflect on our lives. This is one of your superpowers.

科学家说的“内在语音”，指的是我们在头脑中用语言进行自我反思的能力。这其实是一种超能力。

Your inner voice lets you keep information active in your head for short periods of time.

你的内在语音可以帮助你在短时间内把信息保持在脑海中。

Like when you go to the grocery store. You repeat that list in your head. We also use our inner voice to simulate and plan, like when we rehearse what we are going to say before an important presentation or interview.

比如你去超市时，会在心里反复默念购物清单。我们也会用内在语音进行模拟和计划，比如在重要演讲或面试前默默排练要说的话。

And of course, we use our inner voice to control and motivate ourselves. Finally, perhaps most magically, we use our inner voice to make sense of this messy world, construct self-awareness.

我们还会通过它激励自己、控制情绪，更重要的是——用它去理解这个混乱的世界，构建自我认知。

The Dark Side of the Inner Voice: Chatter

内在语音的阴暗面：内耗

Your inner voice is a remarkable tool. The problem is, it often jams up on us when we need it most. We get stuck in negative thought loops.

内在语音是个强大的工具，但它也会“卡壳”。在关键时刻，它可能让我们陷入负面循环。

If you ever find yourself trying to work through a problem but not making progress, or berating yourself incessantly—those are signs of chatter.

比如你反复思考一个问题却毫无进展，或者不断贬低自己——这就是“内耗”的表现。

The Impact of Chatter

“内耗”的影响

Chatter makes it hard to think and perform. If you’ve ever read a page and remembered nothing, that’s chatter.

它会使思考和行动变得困难。如果你曾经读完一页书却什么都没记住，那就是内耗在起作用。

It also creates friction in relationships. We often want to talk about our chatter. But doing so too much can push others away.

它还会在人际关系中制造摩擦。我们常常想谈论自己的内耗。但过度这样做可能会把别人推开。

Chatter prolongs the stress response, creating wear and tear on the body and predicting problems like cardiovascular disease and inflammation.

内耗会延长压力反应，给身体带来损耗，并可能引发心血管疾病和炎症等问题。

Harnessing the Inner Voice

如何驾驭内在语音

People often ask how to silence the inner voice. That’s not the best question. We want to harness it.

很多人想“关闭”内在语音。但真正该问的是：如何利用它。

One tool is language. Malala Yousafzai, when facing death threats, asked herself, “What would you do, Malala?” This is called distanced self-talk.

其中一个工具是语言。马拉拉曾在面对危险时问自己：“马拉拉，你会怎么做？”这就是“心理距离对话”的技巧。

Using your name helps shift perspective. It lets you advise yourself like you would a friend.

用“你”或名字来对自己说话，可以像给朋友建议一样客观地劝导自己。

The Role of Others in Managing Chatter

他人在调节内耗中的作用

Another tool is other people. But you have to be careful. Venting doesn’t help us work through chatter. The best conversations let you express emotion—and then broaden your perspective. Choose chatter advisors who both listen and advise.

另一个工具是他人支持。但你得慎重对象。单纯倾诉无法真正解决内耗。理想的倾诉对象不仅能倾听，也能帮你拉开视角、整理思路。选择那些既能倾听、又能给予建议的“内耗顾问”。

The Power of Awe

敬畏感的力量

The final tool is awe. Scientists found that awe, not just nature or therapy, helped reduce PTSD in veterans. When we feel smaller in the face of something vast, our chatter shrinks too.

最后一个工具，是敬畏感。研究发现，敬畏能有效缓解创伤后压力。当我们在宏大事物面前感到渺小时，内在烦恼也随之缩小。

The Evolution of Emotion Regulation

情绪调节的演进

From trepanation to lobotomies, humans have always tried to manage emotions. Now, our toolbox is vastly improved.

从开颅放“邪气”到脑叶切除术，人类一直在探索情绪调节之道。而今天，我们拥有科学有效的工具。

What we need is to use these tools—and teach ourselves how to communicate not just with others, but with ourselves.

我们真正需要做的，是学会使用这些工具，学会与自己更好地沟通。