我如何选择我的艰难就如何生活How I choose my hard is how I live

I was one of those kids who expected a lot from life. But then life started raining on me. I had to quickly adapt. I grew up fast. I had to. But my childhood was fun and exciting. It made me who I am. And for that, I’m grateful. Life is hard and indifferent to our pain. But now I get to choose my hard. I could stay in the cycle complain, apathy, despair and repeat. Or I could pick a different hard. The hard of showing up for myself everyday. If I don’t, the universe will choose it for me. And I don’t want that. Writer M. Scott Peck was right when he said, “Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” True commitment to anything is hard. Letting go is hard. Awakening all of your self is hard. Relationships are hard. Being mindful is hard. Being responsible is hard. Getting anything worth your while done is hard. Growth is hard. Staying the same is hard, too. How I choose my hard is how I live.

我是那种对生活期望很高的孩子。但后来生活接连给我当头棒喝。我不得不迅速适应。我成长得很快。我必须这样。但我的童年依然充满乐趣和兴奋。它塑造了现在的我。为此，我心怀感恩。生活艰难，对我们的痛苦漠不关心。但现在我可以选择自己的艰难。我可以陷入抱怨、冷漠、绝望的循环并重复，或者选择一条不同的路。那就是每天为自己坚持的艰难。如果我不这样做，宇宙就会为我选择。而我不希望如此。作家M. Scott Peck说得对：”一旦我们真正知道生活是困难的——一旦我们真正理解并接受它——那么生活就不再困难。因为一旦接受，生活困难这个事实就不再重要。”对任何事情的真诚承诺都很困难。放手很困难。唤醒全部自我很困难。人际关系很困难。保持正念很困难。负责任很困难。完成任何有价值的事情很困难。成长很困难。保持原状同样困难。我如何选择我的艰难，就如何生活。

Every time I put off a hard commitment, the hard doesn’t go away. It shows up later, bigger and more difficult to tame. The hard things I ignore today become the crisis I deal with tomorrow. Getting fit is hard. But so is feeling out of shape. Saving money is hard. But so is being broke. Building a relationship is hard. But so is being lonely. Waking up early is hard. So is scrambling through your day unprepared. Saying no to distractions is hard. So is feeling like you’re behind in life. A tough conversation is hard. So is living with resentment. Learning new skills is hard. So is being replaceable. Growth is hard. So is staying stuck. You choose your hard. Avoiding hard things doesn’t work. But you get to choose your pain with intention. You either choose the struggle that moves you forward or wake up one day trapped in a struggle you never wanted. I choose my hard a decade—working for myself. Writing every day. Sharing what I know in public.

每次我推迟一个艰难的承诺，这个艰难就不会消失。它会在后来以更大、更难驾驭的形式出现。今天忽视的艰难事项会成为明天需要处理的危机。健身很困难。但是身体虚弱同样困难。存钱很困难。但是身无分文更困难。建立关系很困难。但是孤独更困难。早起很困难。但是仓促度日更困难。拒绝干扰很困难。但是感觉生活落后更困难。进行一场艰难的对话很困难。但是带着怨恨生活更困难。学习新技能很困难。但是可替代性更困难。成长很困难。但是原地踏步更困难。你选择你的艰难。回避艰难事情是行不通的。但你可以有意识地选择你的痛苦。你要么选择推动自己前进的挣扎，要么有朝一日发现自己陷入一个从未想要的挣扎。十年前，我选择了自己的艰难——为自己工作，每天写作。公开分享我所知。

Building a better relationship with myself. Facing my strong emotions so I stop reacting to experiences out of control. Parenting is hard. But I chose my hard. Kobe Bryant woke up at 4 AM to train. He didn’t have to. He chose that hard because the alternative — being average — was harder for him to accept. “When you are up against a wall, put down roots like a tree, until clarity comes from deeper sources to see over that wall and grow,” says Psychologist Carl Jung. Growth takes time. Walls don’t disappear overnight. But when you put down roots, something amazing happens. Clarity comes. You start to see beyond the obstacle. And one day, you’ll rise above it. You don’t break through life by avoiding discomfort. You break through by standing firm, doing the work, and growing beyond the obstacle. Hard things will come either way.

与自己建立更好的关系。直面强烈的情绪，不再失控地反应。养育孩子很困难。但我选择了我的艰难。科比·布莱恩特凌晨4点起床训练。他不必这样做。他选择这个艰难，因为对他来说，平庸是更难接受的。心理学家卡尔·荣格说：”当你陷入困境时，像树一样扎根，直到从更深的源头获得清晰，看透那面墙并成长。”成长需要时间。墙壁不会一夜间消失。但当你扎根时，奇迹就会发生。清晰会来临。你开始看透障碍。终有一天，你将凌驾于障碍之上。你不是通过逃避不适来突破生活，而是通过坚定站立、付出努力并超越障碍来突破。无论如何，艰难的事情都会来临。

The difference is whether they are pushing you forward or holding you back. You don’t get to skip hard. You just get to pick what kind. Avoiding tough choices doesn’t make life easier. It makes life smaller. At some point, you either take control or life chooses for you. “I was peeling a red apple from the garden when I suddenly understood that life would only ever give me a series of wonderfully insoluble problems. With that thought, an ocean of profound peace entered my heart.” — Christian Bobin. What hard thing are you avoiding? Maybe it’s starting a new habit, ending a toxic one, or facing a fear. Maybe it’s having that tough conversation. Or starting a personal project you’ve been putting off. Or simply saying no to something that doesn’t align with your goals. Whatever it is, don’t wait for it to choose you. Choose it first. You still have 90% of the year left. That’s 90% to choose hard things that push you forward. Not the hard things that hold you back. That’s a lot of time to step up. Pick the hard that changes you into who you want to be.

区别在于它们是推动你前进还是阻碍你。你无法跳过艰难。你只能选择它的形式。回避艰难的选择并不会让生活更轻松，反而会让生活变得更狭隘。到了某个时候，你要么主动掌控，要么任由生活为你选择。”当我从花园里剥一个红苹果时，我突然明白生活只会给我一系列奇妙而无解的问题。有了这个想法，一片深邃的平静涌入我的内心。” ——克里斯蒂安·博宾。你在回避什么艰难的事情?也许是开始一个新习惯，结束一个有害的习惯，或面对恐惧。也许是进行一场艰难的对话。或启动一个一直搁置的个人项目。又或者仅仅是对不符合目标的事情说不。无论是什么，不要等它选择你，而要先选择它。今年还剩90%的时间。那是90%选择推动自己前进的艰难事情的时间，而不是阻碍自己的艰难事情。这是很多时间，可以迈出一步。选择能改变你，成为你想成为的人的艰难。

Choose the hard that moves you closer to the life you want. I like what author Dr. Joe Dispenza once said, “If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist.” He’s right. Choosing your hard is how you create a future where your stressors are minimised. I can choose to stay stuck in a cycle. Or I can choose my hard. Choosing my hard means breaking patterns. Life will always give you hard things. But you get to decide which ones are worth it. Choose the hard that moves you forward. Choose the hard that builds the life you want. The hard you choose today becomes the foundation of the life you build tomorrow. And that’s how you create a future you’re proud of. When I choose my hard, I’m choosing growth.

选择能让你更接近理想生活的艰难。我喜欢乔·迪斯潘扎医生曾说的：”如果你无法超越压力、问题和痛苦，就无法创造一个不存在在这些事情的未来。”他说得对。选择自己的艰难，就是创造一个压力最小的未来。我可以选择陷入循环，或选择我的艰难。选择我的艰难意味着打破模式。生活总会给你艰难的事情。但你可以决定哪些是值得的。选择推动你前进的艰难。选择能建立你想要生活的艰难。今天选择的艰难将成为明天生活的基础。这就是你创造引以为豪的方式来。当我选择我的艰难时，我将会成长。

I’m choosing self-evolution. I’m choosing to become the best version of myself. And that’s a pretty amazing feeling. Hard mode is the only way forward. “Believing it should be easy makes it harder,” says Alex Hormozi. A lot of us get stuck in this mindset of “life happens to me.” We feel like we’re victims of our circumstances. We complain about our jobs, our relationships, and our lack of time. But we don’t do anything to change it. You are not a victim. Every action—or inaction—creates your reality. It’s easier to say, “This is just how it is,” than to admit, “I’m scared to try.” Navy SEAL David Goggins says, “You have to build calluses on your mind.” Pushing through hard things will get you far. No one likes waking up early, going to the gym, or having tough conversations. But that’s where change happens. The discomfort in all things is the way forward. It’s the sign you’re alive. It’s the proof you’re growing. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start. And show up for yourself daily. Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why can bear almost any how.”

我选择自我进化。我选择成为最好的自己。这是一种相当令人惊叹的感觉。艰难模式是唯一的前进方式。亚历克斯·霍尔莫兹说：“相信事情应该容易，反而会让它更难。”我们中的很多人陷入了“生活发生在我身上”的心态。我们感觉自己是境遇的受害者。我们抱怨工作、关系和缺乏时间。但我们什么也不做来改变。你不是受害者。每一个行动——或不行动——都在创造你的现实。说“事情就是这样”比承认“我害怕尝试”要容易得多。海豹突击队员戴维·戈金斯说：“你必须在心中培养茧子。”突破艰难的事情会让你走得很远。没人喜欢早起、去健身房或进行艰难的对话。但变化就发生在那里。所有事情中的不适是前进的方式。这是你活着的标志。这是你成长的证明。你不必完全搞清楚一切。你只需要开始。并每天为自己站出来。弗里德里希·尼采说：“谁有了为什么，就能忍受几乎任何如何。”

Find your why. What’s the life you want? What’s the person you want to become? That’s your clue. Choose your hard. Choose your growth. Choose your best life. Do it scared. Do it imperfectly. But do the hard things. Start slow if you must. Just start. It won’t be easy. But staying stuck?That’s worse. “Life is an apple, you must bite it with its skin.” — Sohrab Sepehri

找到你的为什么。你想要什么样的生活?你想成为什么样的人?这就是你的线索。选择你的艰难。选择你的成长。选择你最好的生活。即使害怕也要去做。即使不完美也要去做。但要做那些艰难的事情。如果必须，就慢慢开始。只管开始。这不会容易。但原地踏步?那才是更糟。”生活是一个苹果，你必须连皮一起咬下去。”——索赫拉布·塞佩里