16项让人终生受益的技能Sixteen Skills That AreHard to Learn But Will Pay off Forever

16项难学但终生受益的生活技能

You mother had most of it covered. Take your vitamins, get plenty of rest, don’t stick that butter knife in the toaster, but apart from the obvious, there’s no manual for life. Most of us fumble through life’s ups and downs, learning things as we go along. In theory, we know that we should be prepared for anything but in reality at times we can all feel miserably unequipped to handle all of the curve balls that life throws at us.

你母亲可能已经教过你其中大部分内容了，比如要吃维生素、保证充足休息、别把黄油刀插进烤面包机里，但除此之外，生活并没有说明书。我们大多数人在生活的起起落落中跌跌撞撞，边走边学。理论上，我们知道应该对任何事都有所准备，但实际上，有时候我们会痛苦地发现自己根本没能力应对生活抛来的种种难题。

There’s nothing like being caught in a situation that calls for one of those life skills you wish you had learned before you needed it. With that said, here are some skills that are hard to learn but will never stop paying dividends.

没有什么比陷入一种需要某种生活技能，而你却后悔没在需要它之前就学会的情况更糟糕的了。话虽如此，以下是一些虽难学但却会一直带来益处的技能。

Accountability（责任感） When something good happens to people, they don’t shy away from taking credit. But when something bad happens, they feel victimized immediately. It’s important to develop the ability to be accountable for your experiences. They are often a result of your actions. Sometimes actions don’t yield the desired results. But instead of feeling like a victim, learn from your actions so that you get better results the next time. 当好事发生在人们身上时，他们不会回避邀功。但当坏事发生时，他们马上就觉得自己是受害者。培养对自身经历负责的能力很重要，因为这些经历往往是你自身行为造成的结果。有时候行为并不会产生预期的效果，但与其觉得自己是受害者，不如从自身行为中吸取教训，以便下次能取得更好的结果。
Critical thinking（批判性思维） We are exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of times more information on a daily basis than our great-grandparents were. Being able to evaluate that information, sort the potentially valuable from the trivial, analyze its relevance and meaning, and relate it to other information is crucial. This is something that’s significantly under-taught, but the truth is good, critical thinking skills immediately distinguish you from the rest. 我们每天接触到的信息量比我们的曾祖父母那时候要多几百倍甚至几千倍。能够评估这些信息，从琐碎信息中筛选出有潜在价值的内容，分析其相关性和意义，并将其与其他信息联系起来，这一点至关重要。批判性思维这方面的教育严重不足，但事实是，良好的批判性思维技能能立刻让你从众人中脱颖而出。
Decision making（决策能力） The bridge that leads from analysis to action is effective decision-making. Knowing what to do based on the information available, while not being critical can be dangerous so too can over analyzing, or waiting for more information before making a decision. Being able to take in the scene and respond quickly and effectively is what separates the doers from the wannabes. 从分析到行动之间的桥梁就是有效的决策。根据现有的信息知道该做什么很重要，不进行批判性思考可能很危险，过度分析或者在决策前等待更多信息同样也有问题。能够看清形势并迅速有效地做出反应，这就是实干者和空想者的区别所在。
Research（研究能力） Nobody can be expected to know everything, or even a tiny fraction of everything. You don’t have to know everything, but you should be able to quickly and painlessly find out what you do need to know. This means learning to use the internet effectively, learning to use the library, learning to read productively, and learning how to leverage your network of contacts, and what kinds of research are going to work best in any given situations. 没人能期望知晓一切，甚至连极小一部分知识都不可能全知道。你不必无所不知，但你应该能够快速且轻松地弄清楚自己需要知道的东西。这意味着要学会有效地使用互联网、利用图书馆、高效阅读以及学会借助自己的人脉网络，还要知道在任何特定情况下哪种研究方式最有效。
Writing professionally（专业写作） There are many, many reasons why you should know how to write professionally, from the basic cover letter to the customer service email. Writing professionally will allow your message to be clear, and your voice to be respected, even when you’re not speaking face to face. 有诸多理由说明你应该懂得如何进行专业写作，从基本的求职信到客服邮件都需要。专业写作能让你的信息表达清晰，让你的话语受人尊重，即便你不是面对面交流时也是如此。
Consistency（持之以恒） Whether you’re tracking a new exercise routine or working on an important project, consistency is vital to maintaining any kind of success. People often stop working hard when they reach the top. But to maintain the position you have to work harder and be more consistent in your work. 无论你是在坚持一项新的锻炼计划还是在做一个重要项目，持之以恒对于保持任何一种成功都至关重要。人们往往在达到顶峰后就不再努力了。但要保住这个位置，你就得更加努力，工作中也要更有连贯性。
Communicating your needs（表达自身需求） Your friends, family and work mates cannot read your mind. You need to communicate your needs clearly, kindly and even repeating when necessary. The more you exercise the language of communication, the more humanity you will see in the world around you and the less bitterness you will carry in your heart. 你的朋友、家人和同事没办法读懂你的心思。你需要清晰、友善地表达自己的需求，必要时还要重复说明。你越是锻炼沟通的技巧，你就越能感受到周围世界的人情味，心里的怨恨也会越少。
Knowing when to shut up（知道何时保持沉默） Keeping your thoughts to yourself when you’re agitated is one of the most valuable skills to learn and of course one of the most difficult. Sure it can feel good to unload on somebody and let them know what you really think, but that good feeling is temporary. What happens the next day, the next week or the next year? It is human nature to want to prove that you’re right, but it’s rarely effective. When we are angry or upset, we tend to blurt out everything that comes to mind. In some situations, it’s better to keep quiet, no matter what your personal thoughts are. For instance, when someone is too upset to listen to anything you have to say rationally, it’s useless to respond to them. 在心烦意乱时把想法憋在心里，这是一项极难学但却非常有价值的技能。当然，向别人倾诉、让他们知道你真实的想法可能会让你一时感觉良好，但这种良好的感觉只是暂时的。第二天、下周或者明年又会怎样呢？想要证明自己是正确的，这是人之常情，但往往没什么效果。当我们生气或心烦时，往往会脱口而出脑海中想到的一切。在某些情况下，不管你个人想法如何，保持沉默更好。例如，当有人心烦意乱，根本听不进你理性的话语时，回应他们是没用的。
Asking for help or advice（寻求帮助或建议） Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help because you don’t want to look incompetent, but sooner or later everyone finds themselves in a position where they require some help. Consider what might happen if you don’t recognize your need for help or if you choose not to ask for any. You can end up in a really big mess. Asking for help or advice doesn’t mean you are weak. 有时候寻求帮助很难，因为你不想显得自己无能，但迟早每个人都会遇到需要帮助的情况。想想如果没意识到自己需要帮助或者选择不寻求帮助会怎样，你可能会陷入大麻烦。寻求帮助或建议并不意味着你软弱。
Accepting compliments and criticism（接受赞美和批评） A lot of people find it difficult to accept compliments and constructive criticism. We often fail to accept compliments with grace or we downplay them and get embarrassed, yet we’re sometimes crushed by criticism, even if it’s valid. We tend to take it personally and to heart. Learning to simply say thank you when you get a compliment and learning to view criticism as feedback can serve you well. 很多人觉得难以接受赞美和建设性的批评。我们常常不能优雅地接受赞美，要么轻描淡写，要么感到尴尬，然而有时我们却会被批评击垮，即便那批评是合理的。我们往往会把批评往心里去。学会在得到赞美时简单地说声“谢谢”，并把批评当作反馈来看待，这对你很有好处。
Negotiating（谈判能力） Good negotiation skills can save you a ton of money and pretty much every area of your life. From negotiating a cellphone contract to buying a home. These skills can also get you that raise, you know, you deserve if you know how to negotiate properly. It means you’re holding all the cards, and you’re prepared to battle it out. 良好的谈判技巧能在生活的方方面面为你省下一大笔钱。从协商手机合同到购买房产都是如此。这些技巧还能帮你争取到你应得的加薪。如果你懂得如何正确谈判，那就意味着你占据了主动，准备好大展身手了。
Public Speaking（公众演讲） The ability to speak clearly and persuasively in front of an audience is one of the most important skills anyone can develop. People who are effective speakers come across as more confident and comfortable, and they are more attractive to be around. Maybe you don’t have a job that requires you to speak in public, but you never know when the time may come, when this skill could really come in handy. That big speech at your best friend’s wedding, for example. The only way to gain more confidence speaking in public is by practicing it regularly. 能够在观众面前清晰且有说服力地演讲是任何人都可以培养的最重要的技能之一。善于演讲的人看起来更自信、更自在，也更有亲和力。也许你的工作并不需要你在公众场合发言，但你永远不知道什么时候就会用到这项技能，比如在你最好朋友的婚礼上发表重要讲话。要想在公众场合演讲更有自信，唯一的办法就是经常练习。
Tracking your spending（记录开支） Sometimes it’s easier to put everything on a credit card, and then just hope that you’ll have the money to pay it off in a reasonable amount of time, but you may not always have the money to pay off the full balance, and this is a very easy way to end up in debt. By keeping track of your spending, you’ll be able to see where most of your money is going and how you can make adjustments moving forward. You may find that a lot of your money is going toward things you really don’t need, and this can be a great wake-up call to stop the unnecessary spending in its tracks. 有时候把所有开销都刷信用卡更容易，然后就寄希望于能在合理时间内有钱还清欠款，但你可能并不总是有足够的钱还清全额欠款，而这是很容易陷入债务的方式。通过记录开支，你就能看清自己的钱大多花在了哪里，以及如何做出调整继续前行。你可能会发现自己很多钱都花在了根本不需要的东西上，这可是个及时制止不必要开支的好警示。
Learning a new language（学习新语言） There are many obvious reasons to learn a second language. It can help you advance your career, make travelling more enjoyable and expand your cultural horizons. But what may not be obvious are the cognitive benefits that take place when you speak two or more languages. Speaking a foreign language improves the functionality of your brain by challenging it to recognize, negotiate meaning and communicate in different language systems. Language is one of the hardest things your brain does, making it the ultimate brain exercise, thus learning a foreign language is one of the most effective and practical ways to increase intelligence, keep your mind sharp and buffer your brain against aging. 学习第二语言有诸多显而易见的好处。它可以帮助你推动事业发展，让旅行更愉快，还能拓宽你的文化视野。但不太明显的是，当你会说两门或更多语言时所带来的认知方面的益处。讲外语能通过促使大脑识别、理解语义以及用不同语言系统进行交流来提升大脑的功能。语言是大脑所做的最具挑战性的事情之一，因此学习一门外语是提升智力、保持思维敏锐以及延缓大脑衰老的最有效、最实用的方法之一。
Showing gratitude（表达感激之情） The habit of showing gratitude is a great way to gain respect, trust and stand out from the crowd. Whether it’s by sending a thank you note or giving a small gift, it could be for the person who interviewed you for a new job, a trusted mentor, an old boss or even your own parents. Expressing your gratitude goes a very long way and showing gratitude gives you and the other party a chance to reflect on your relationship, and think of the positive outcomes of knowing one another, and it also makes the day of another person. 养成表达感激的习惯是赢得尊重、获取信任以及从人群中脱颖而出的好方法。无论是通过发送感谢信还是赠送小礼物的方式，对象可以是面试你的人、值得信赖的导师、以前的老板，甚至是自己的父母。表达感激之情意义重大，它能让你和对方有机会回顾彼此的关系，想起相识带来的积极成果，也能让对方心情愉悦。
Staying present in the moment（活在当下） Living in the present moment means that your awareness is completely centered on the here and now, but the state that we have become used to is a state where our thoughts are either in the past or in the future. Instead of where we actually are and what is actually happening, we tend to ponder over what has been, what could have been, and what could be or will be. When you learn to live in the present moment, you’ll find that your struggles and unhappiness diminish and life will begin to flow with more joy and ease. 活在当下意味着你的意识完全集中在此时此刻，但我们习惯的状态是思绪要么沉浸在过去，要么飘向未来。我们不去关注自己实际所处的位置以及正在发生的事情，而是倾向于纠结过去发生了什么、原本可能发生什么、将来可能会发生什么或者将会发生什么。当你学会活在当下时，你会发现自己的烦恼和不快都会减少，生活会开始充满更多的喜悦和轻松。

The best things in life may be free. But that doesn’t mean they won’t take time, sweat and perseverance to acquire. That’s especially the case when it comes to learning these important life skills. Look at working on these skills as a journey with endless possibilities for growth and insight, not a box to check off, so you can move on to the next one. Remember, these skills are hard to learn, but they’ll pay off forever.

生活中最美好的事物或许是免费的，但这并不意味着获取它们不需要花费时间、付出汗水和坚持不懈的努力。对于学习这些重要的生活技能来说，尤其如此。把学习这些技能看作是一段有着无尽成长和领悟可能性的旅程，而不是一项完成就可以抛之脑后接着做下一件事的任务。记住，这些技能虽难学，但会让你终生受益。